prada · koray
Make them proud
before it is too late.
I found out too late for someone I loved. If there's someone you haven't told yet, or something you keep putting off — maybe don't wait like I did.
You can always get to the story later from the menu.
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before the story
I'm Koray — online I mostly go by prada. Before any of the parts where I got stuck, here's the plain version of who's telling this story.
the first time it worked
Before this site, before any of the projects below, there was one small thing that actually ran the way I meant it to. It wasn't impressive. Nobody else would have looked twice. But it was mine, and it worked, and that changed what I thought I could do next.
Start smaller than feels worth it. The first working thing doesn't need to be good — it needs to prove the loop works, so you'll do it again.
the tricky part
The console just said undefined is not a function. I changed things at random hoping something would fix it. Nothing did. I didn't tell anyone I was stuck — it felt like proof I wasn't cut out for this.
The error message tells you the file and line number — read that part first, not the scary red text. Most of the time the bug is exactly where it says it is.
the part I don't put in the project list
A Discord tool, gone. Then a full admin dashboard I'd built for a Minecraft server — login pages, a database, live server stats, a permissions system — 60-plus hours, gone with no backup anywhere. Both are in the projects section below with no repo link, because there isn't one anymore.
Push to a repo the same day you start, even a private one nobody else will see. It costs nothing and it's the only thing that would have saved either project.
imposter syndrome
I'd open someone else's repo and it looked clean, organized, like they'd never once been confused. Mine never looked like that. I assumed that meant something about me, instead of just meaning I was only seeing their finished version.
You're comparing your rough draft to someone else's final cut. Nobody's commit history looks clean while they're actually writing it.
asking for help
I'd sit on a problem for hours before asking anyone, because asking felt like proof I couldn't do it alone. It took a while to notice that the people I looked up to asked questions constantly, in public, without it costing them anything.
Write the question down before you send it. Half the time, writing it out clearly enough for someone else to understand is what shows you the answer.
where that leaves me
Not because I stopped being scared of it going badly. I haven't. But the projects below are real, the failures in this story are real, and I'd rather put both out than wait for a version of me that isn't scared anymore.
Publishing scared is still publishing. Waiting for confidence first usually just means waiting forever.
I don't trust built software, so I built my own. A full control panel for running a Minecraft server — PvP toggling, safezone management, live TPS/RAM/JVM monitoring, and a permissions editor with per-node allow/deny/inherit rules and weighted groups. Over 60 hours went into this.
Source is gone — lost with no backup. What's here is from screenshots, because losing 60+ hours of work doesn't erase that it existed, or that it worked.
backend
Java Paper plugin exposing live server data (TPS, RAM, JVM) and applying changes in real time through an API.
frontend
Login-gated web dashboard with a full front end and back end talking to the plugin API.
database
Stored server data, permissions, and account state persistently, not just in memory.
integrations
Webhook logging for staff audit trails, plus a Discord bot for account verification and in-game rewards.
javascript · chrome extension
A Chrome extension that sorts messy tabs into color-coded groups automatically, with local rules doing the heavy lifting and an optional AI fallback for whatever's left over.
view project →javascript · discord
A tool that watched for a Discord username to become available and claimed it the moment it dropped. Lost the source for this one — it's here as a record, not a link.
java · paper
A gameplay plugin for a Paper server — custom commands, a handful of tweaked mechanics, and some quality-of-life fixes for players. Lost the source for this one too — it's here as a record, not a link.